Dear Diary,

No one went to school today.

I would question the voracity of their sickly claims, were it not for the obvious congestion and periodic coughing, but they are in way too good of humor and energy for my idea of staying home sick. The ‘80s kid in me needs them to be suffering and at death’s door to justify missing school. The mature, caring parent in me is fostering body autonomy, personal responsibility for self, and teaching well-being over self-sacrifice. The ‘80s kid is a lot louder than the mature, caring parent, though the mature, caring parent gets the last word. At least today. Somehow, I get the feeling that the ‘80s kid in me is going to highly encourage one, if not two kids to go back to school tomorrow.

MAMA NEEDS TO RECLAIM HER SUBSEQUENT QUIETNESS!

Adult kid and I remain the only ones untouched by this bug. It’s not like I haven’t given it ample opportunity to move into my sinuses and set up shop, but so far, I remain unscathed. Maybe it’s because my sinuses are already inhabited by my allergies (hello ragweed season!) and there’s no vacancy. Maybe it’s all the fresh air I’ve been taking in by hiding in, I mean, ENJOYING the backyard solitude on these mild September days (THANK YOU CLARITIN!). Maybe the Universe is delaying my demise until everyone else is on the mend, so I can hibernate in peace. Whatever the reason, I am not taking it for granted.

The spouse’s demise came this afternoon. I blame his work stress and his mad dash of scraping, caulking, and painting the south side of the house before it rains today. He did most of the work, but being the good wife that I am, I helped him out with trim work and telling caulk jokes.

Sincerely,

A Slightly Immature Spouse and Caring Parent